Much of my work involves helping individuals and groups to learn and apply psychological skills and strategies. These might include using thought diaries, evaluating worries, or goal-setting for example. However, I sometimes get asked "how" and "when" questions in relation to these skills: "when will it start working", or "how long do I need to do this for"? It can be tricky with these psychological techniques, because it often depends on individual needs and circumstances! So I've put together three of my most frequently asked questions, which I hope will help to address some of these queries.
How long should I keep practising these strategies?
Practice is as important with psychological skills as it is with physical skills. Just like we need to practice new movements to get them correct in the studio, we need to keep practising psychological skills and techniques so that they come more easily. Doing them once can be helpful, but doing them consistently is best: you will get the most out of them when you use them regularly. Another important note in relation to this is not to only use them when you are struggling. Often we stop using these kinds of techniques when we feel better or are feeling good, but they also have a preventative effect. So, using them regularly can protect us from things like chronic stress in the long term.
The strategies aren’t working for me. Now what?
There may be other strategies you can try: there are many different exercises and techniques. Sometimes it’s just a matter of trial and error, to try to find something that works for you. It may also be that you need to try the strategies several times before it feels like they are working. I have a number of online psychology courses on this site which contain many different skills and techniques.
However, if you have tried to use some of these exercises consistently and they’re not having an effect, it might be time to seek help. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength. Some of us find it hard to ask for help or support. We may feel that it’s a sign of weakness or failure, or may not feel that we have a right to ask for help; we may feel undeserving of it, or we may believe that others won’t want to help us. But this isn’t the case. You can go to your doctor or find a private psychology practitioner such as a psychotherapist or psychological coach. If you're based in the UK, you can also self-refer for talking therapies via the NHS.
Someone I know seems to be struggling. What should I do?
The best thing you can do in this situation is let the other person know that you are there for them, and that you care. Try to offer reassurance, and listen to them in a non-judgemental way. Don’t try to fix the problem or brush it away, but do give them some ideas as to where they can seek help. It might be signposting them to useful websites, or suggesting that they talk to their doctor, depending on how serious you think the problem is. Check in with them regularly if you can.
If you think they may be in crisis – that is, they are at risk of harming themselves or others – take it seriously. Talk to them and ask direct questions. Again, let them know you are there for them and offer reassurance. You can find more advice specifically for helping someone in crisis here. Finally, make sure you look after yourself, too: supporting others can be challenging, so don’t neglect your own self-care.
Got any other questions? Just let me know!
A version of this blog was first posted on the One Dance UK website to accompany a webinar.
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